Happy Mother's Day

A friend wanted me to write a little something on Mother's Day which is in May. I know that's next month. I guess the expectation was to write something warm and fuzzy. Like a poem inside a Greeting card that no one bothers to read?

Well I sat down to write and this is what came out. Tell me what you think.

So another Mother's Day is coming up. Do you sense a little cynicsm? Well, it's not that. Really. But the same old messages about the greatness of being a mother, mother equals God, etc. gets a little jarring sometimes.

I have nothing against the celebration of Mother's day or Father's day or Sibling Day or any other 'Day'. What gets my goat is the underlying expectation is that mothers continue to make adjustments, compromises and sacrifices. That the essence of their greatness lies in living for the children.

I am not complaining. I am a part of the society that reinforces this stereotype. I am a mother who feels guilty when she leaves her children to go out. Be it work or play. I am a mother who compulsively shops for her kids even when it's her own birthday. I am also the mother who put her career on hold for years till kids 'grow up' a bit. And all this is done willingly and happily.

The supportive husband encourages his wife to go back to work. If that means he will partake some of her domestic duties is a matter for discussion. It's often .... "As long as you manage/balance both, you can go back to work".

So the balancing act begins....
I will not attempt to comment on all women who embrace motherhood. I can only relate to what I have seen around me in the urban higher middle class setting.

Motherhood needs to be celebrated. It's a tough job. It's tougher to balance a career with motherhood. But rather than celebration of the adjustments and sacrifices, I would call for a helping hand. A pat on my shoulder saying "It's not your fault that he scored less in the maths exam." A reassuring voice that says, "Take a break. Leave it to me." An experienced heart that says, "You are doing wonderfully. Go on. I am proud of you."

I don't want to wait for a date on a calendar to feel appreciated. I want it everyday. I know I deserve it. So does every other mother.

Happy Mother's Day.

After an honest feedback and some introspection, I re read the above piece and realized that it sounded like a rant. Here I am giving it one more go.

So another Mother's Day is coming up. I know I will wake up to kisses and flowers and cards from my little ones. The same old messages, but what matters to me is the innocence and love with which those cards are presented.

I know now a days there is a "Day" to celebrate everything and everyone. But  the celebration of Mother's day is always special. I think it's a fitting tribute and a loving thank you to  mothers who continue to make adjustments, compromises and sacrifices. I take this day as an opportunity to salute my mom who did all that for me. If it weren't for this day, how many of us would actually go up to our mom and say all that the heart felt about her? I guess she would be more embarrassed. She wasn't doing all that for us so that we would say thank you. She was just being a mother.

I appreciate my mother more now. Now that I am a mother myself.I am a mother who feels guilty when she leaves her children to go out. Be it work or play. I am a mother who compulsively shops for her kids even when it's her own birthday. I am also the mother who put her career on hold for years till kids 'grow up' a bit. And all this is done willingly and happily.

My husband encouraged me to go back to work once the kids were in school.

So the balancing act began.... The wet towel on the bed, toys on the floor, extra workload, make me angrier than before. But my kids and my husband understand that anger and I appreciate that. It's true that it's tougher to balance a career with motherhood. But a loving family makes it easier.

Motherhood needs to be celebrated. It's a tough job.  But in addition to celebration of the adjustments and sacrifices, I would call for a helping hand. A pat on my shoulder saying "It's not your fault that he scored less in the maths exam." A reassuring voice that says, "Take a break. Leave it to me." An experienced heart that says, "You are doing wonderfully. Go on. I am proud of you." I would make sure I say that to my mother, sisters, friends and much later my daughter and daughter in law.

Let's not wait for a date on a calendar to appreciate our mothers. We know that each mother deserves it.

Happy Mother's Day.

I want to be a doctor when I grow up

For the future Dr. Vedika..... with love from Pradnya aunty.

Respected teachers, guests and my dear friends,

I am Vedika Shahane from std IV - A and one day in future I want to be Dr. Vedika.

Sounds impressive, doesn’t it? Well that can’t be a good enough reason to be a doctor. Thankfully, it isn’t. Ever since I can remember, I have heard that our human body is a complex and intelligent machine. A miracle of nature. What could be more interesting that studying this miracle and discovering how it works?

Science has always been my favourite subject. It is as interesting as it is educational. My pursuit of a medical degree will help me to study my favourite subject while also preparing me for my future profession.

Being a doctor will be hard work. I understand that getting a college degree will only be the beginning. Being a doctor will mean that I have to use all my knowledge and skill to help my patients. I will have to work long hours to gain real experience. Working with patients and helping them get better will give me true satisfaction of having put my education to good use. I will treat all patients irrespective of their caste, class and nationality.

Hard work, dedication and studying will ensure that I realise my dream of becoming a doctor. But I think what will really help me shine as a medical professional is “empathy” and a “true spirit of service”.

As children, are we impressed by the degrees hanging on the walls at the doctor’s office? No, of course not.  I don’t think we even notice them. We like those doctors who have a kind face, a soothing touch and those who always smile. I want to be a doctor that makes her patient feel better, not just physically. But by lifting their spirits and reassuring them.

Maybe I am too young to understand the nitty-gritties of being a doctor. But I understand that our country needs more doctors. With high levels of malnutrition, sanitation problems, poverty and lack of basic medical facilities, medical professionals are the need of the day.

I recently read about Dr. Prakash Amte, who left the comforts of city life after getting a medical degree and settled with his family in a tribal area called Hemalkasa in Maharashtra. He served the tribals in spite of lack of basic amenities of water, electricity and even beds or a shelter for a clinic. After years of hardships, he built a hospital and today treats patients and educates the tribals for a better tomorrow. He is an inspiration to many youngsters like me.

Being a doctor will mean treating illness, curing diseases, educating people and striving to make our country a healthy nation. I look forward to this challenge and hope to make a positive difference to lives of people as doctor.

Thank-you.

SHARE YOUR PIZZA

This one was for Nishka again. With her mom down with swine flu, it was Pradnya aunty to the rescue.

SHARE YOUR PIZZA

I am Nishka. Let me tell you about my favourite food.

Well, although I love all the yummy Indian food my mother cooks for me every day, my favourite food to eat outside is – Pizza. It is a flatbread topped with tomato sauce and cheese which is then baked in the oven. Different kinds of meat or crunchy vegetables make it even yummier. I am sure you all know that because I know that it is a favourite of many of you too.

But did you know where this favourite dish of ours was first made?

The ancient Greeks and Romans are known to have covered their bread with cheese and herbs. But the modern pizza as we know it was first made in Naples, Italy in the 18^th or early 19^th century. Soon it became popular all over the world.

Traditionally, Pizza is made using mozzarella cheese and tomatoes. But now people use different cheeses, toppings and sauces as they like. Pizza recipes have been modified by people all over to suit their tastes and add a touch of their culture. That is why we find Paneer pizzas topped with tandoori sauce in India.

The best thing I like about a pizza is that it is made and presented for sharing. The whole family or a group of friends can gather around a pizza and have a slice each amidst laughter and joy.

I found out some fun facts about the Pizza that I would like to share.

The world's largest pizza was made in Johannesburg, South Africa on December 8, 1990. According to the Guinness Book of Records the pizza was 37.4 meters in diameter and was made using 500 kg of flour, 800 kg of cheese and 900 kg of tomato puree.

National Pizza Month is observed in October every year in the United States and some areas of Canada since October 1984. During this time, some people observe National Pizza Month by consuming various types of pizzas or pizza slices, or going to various pizzerias.

THANK-YOU

An Open Letter to My 21 - year old self

An Open Letter to My 21 - year old self

Dear Me@21,

Hi. You have never seen or heard from me. But I know you since you were born.

I knew you as a cute toddler and a cocky teenager. But recently I have been disappointed by your attitude. You are turning into an insufferable know-it-all.  And trust me. You DON'T know it all.

The Internet can only do so much. You know the price of everything but the value of nothing. 

Sure you have experienced the pain of physical illness and loss of a dear one. But you have yet to experience heart break. There is no greater pain. But yes. Frankly???? It does not last very long at your age.

You have taken some people in your life for granted. Haven't you? You idiot!!! If you learn anything worthwhile. Ever. You will learn not to do that. Well..... maybe your parents. But that's it. No one else.

I noticed you have started to tell people how sorted you are. Emotionally. It always makes me laugh. Ha ha.You think you have it all sorted out? You haven't even experienced complex emotions yet...... ‘knowing you are in love’, ‘feeling angry  that life is unfair’, ‘frustration when you witness injustice’, ‘hurt of betrayal’, ‘the joy spending your first earnings’,   ‘the utter ecstasy of touching your new born’, ‘feeling torn between holding on and letting go’. There is a whole lot coming your way my young self.

You think you are mentally strong because criticism doesn't affect you? Well have you faced false allegations with no chance of defending yourself? Do you know the frustration of seeing 5 weeks of hard work flushed down the toilet because some pompous arrogant man changed his mind? Have you felt the pain of seeing your child in pain? Let's see how strongly you deal with that. Actually I have seen how you would deal with it. Trust me. You did not fare well.

And what is this compulsive need to have the last word every time? You think you have learnt a lot. Then learn to "just shut up". And ‘when’ to shut up. Maybe you have a thick skin and the spoken word hasn't  hurt you yet. But everyone's not like you. You will learn one day that kindness, polite words, consideration for others' feelings and most importantly 'restraint' will take you farther than any educational degree or awards.

The unspoken word may sometimes be heard and appreciated. But the spoken word can never be taken back. The world is full of people. We are an emotional, multi-talented yet flawed species. We are social beings. We need acceptance. And No. We do not have thick skins. The "we" includes you.

What are you afraid of? Don't answer that. I know. You are afraid of being vulnerable.  Afraid of getting hurt. Afraid of failure. Afraid to fall in love. Afraid to admit you are weak. But that's ok. Fear keeps us rooted. It doesn't make us weak. Open up about your true feelings…. Just to yourself. It will take a load off.

You are good at expressing yourself. You will be appreciated for that in future. But ‘knowing’ words should be accompanied by the knowledge and wisdom of when to use them or rather when ‘not’ to use them. Doesn't the wise "you" know that using words or expressions like ‘shit’,  ‘crap’, ‘screwed’ and ‘what the f*ck’ are unacceptable in civil conversations with your family members..... Young and old? Come on.

You are no better or worse than those around you. Your money, education, profession, opportunities, success will not define you. Only "you" will.

Too long a lecture? Well it's not all bad. There is a lot in your favour. There is a lot I envy about you. Youth, passion, dreams, energy, drive and a clean slate with the freedom and opportunity to write what you desire.

Most important:

I don't expect that you respond, agree, accept or appreciate what I said. But just remember my words. 

See you in 15 years.

In spite of all my reservations, I know you will do just fine. Take care.

From 

You@36.