A friend wanted me to write a little something on Mother's Day which is in May. I know that's next month. I guess the expectation was to write something warm and fuzzy. Like a poem inside a Greeting card that no one bothers to read?
Well I sat down to write and this is what came out. Tell me what you think.
So another Mother's Day is coming up. Do you sense a little cynicsm? Well, it's not that. Really. But the same old messages about the greatness of being a mother, mother equals God, etc. gets a little jarring sometimes.
I have nothing against the celebration of Mother's day or Father's day or Sibling Day or any other 'Day'. What gets my goat is the underlying expectation is that mothers continue to make adjustments, compromises and sacrifices. That the essence of their greatness lies in living for the children.
I am not complaining. I am a part of the society that reinforces this stereotype. I am a mother who feels guilty when she leaves her children to go out. Be it work or play. I am a mother who compulsively shops for her kids even when it's her own birthday. I am also the mother who put her career on hold for years till kids 'grow up' a bit. And all this is done willingly and happily.
The supportive husband encourages his wife to go back to work. If that means he will partake some of her domestic duties is a matter for discussion. It's often .... "As long as you manage/balance both, you can go back to work".
So the balancing act begins....
I will not attempt to comment on all women who embrace motherhood. I can only relate to what I have seen around me in the urban higher middle class setting.
Motherhood needs to be celebrated. It's a tough job. It's tougher to balance a career with motherhood. But rather than celebration of the adjustments and sacrifices, I would call for a helping hand. A pat on my shoulder saying "It's not your fault that he scored less in the maths exam." A reassuring voice that says, "Take a break. Leave it to me." An experienced heart that says, "You are doing wonderfully. Go on. I am proud of you."
I don't want to wait for a date on a calendar to feel appreciated. I want it everyday. I know I deserve it. So does every other mother.
Happy Mother's Day.
After an honest feedback and some introspection, I re read the above piece and realized that it sounded like a rant. Here I am giving it one more go.
So another Mother's Day is coming up. I know I will wake up to kisses and flowers and cards from my little ones. The same old messages, but what matters to me is the innocence and love with which those cards are presented.
I know now a days there is a "Day" to celebrate everything and everyone. But the celebration of Mother's day is always special. I think it's a fitting tribute and a loving thank you to mothers who continue to make adjustments, compromises and sacrifices. I take this day as an opportunity to salute my mom who did all that for me. If it weren't for this day, how many of us would actually go up to our mom and say all that the heart felt about her? I guess she would be more embarrassed. She wasn't doing all that for us so that we would say thank you. She was just being a mother.
I appreciate my mother more now. Now that I am a mother myself.I am a mother who feels guilty when she leaves her children to go out. Be it work or play. I am a mother who compulsively shops for her kids even when it's her own birthday. I am also the mother who put her career on hold for years till kids 'grow up' a bit. And all this is done willingly and happily.
My husband encouraged me to go back to work once the kids were in school.
So the balancing act began.... The wet towel on the bed, toys on the floor, extra workload, make me angrier than before. But my kids and my husband understand that anger and I appreciate that. It's true that it's tougher to balance a career with motherhood. But a loving family makes it easier.
Motherhood needs to be celebrated. It's a tough job. But in addition to celebration of the adjustments and sacrifices, I would call for a helping hand. A pat on my shoulder saying "It's not your fault that he scored less in the maths exam." A reassuring voice that says, "Take a break. Leave it to me." An experienced heart that says, "You are doing wonderfully. Go on. I am proud of you." I would make sure I say that to my mother, sisters, friends and much later my daughter and daughter in law.
Let's not wait for a date on a calendar to appreciate our mothers. We know that each mother deserves it.
Happy Mother's Day.
Well I sat down to write and this is what came out. Tell me what you think.
So another Mother's Day is coming up. Do you sense a little cynicsm? Well, it's not that. Really. But the same old messages about the greatness of being a mother, mother equals God, etc. gets a little jarring sometimes.
I have nothing against the celebration of Mother's day or Father's day or Sibling Day or any other 'Day'. What gets my goat is the underlying expectation is that mothers continue to make adjustments, compromises and sacrifices. That the essence of their greatness lies in living for the children.
I am not complaining. I am a part of the society that reinforces this stereotype. I am a mother who feels guilty when she leaves her children to go out. Be it work or play. I am a mother who compulsively shops for her kids even when it's her own birthday. I am also the mother who put her career on hold for years till kids 'grow up' a bit. And all this is done willingly and happily.
The supportive husband encourages his wife to go back to work. If that means he will partake some of her domestic duties is a matter for discussion. It's often .... "As long as you manage/balance both, you can go back to work".
So the balancing act begins....
I will not attempt to comment on all women who embrace motherhood. I can only relate to what I have seen around me in the urban higher middle class setting.
Motherhood needs to be celebrated. It's a tough job. It's tougher to balance a career with motherhood. But rather than celebration of the adjustments and sacrifices, I would call for a helping hand. A pat on my shoulder saying "It's not your fault that he scored less in the maths exam." A reassuring voice that says, "Take a break. Leave it to me." An experienced heart that says, "You are doing wonderfully. Go on. I am proud of you."
I don't want to wait for a date on a calendar to feel appreciated. I want it everyday. I know I deserve it. So does every other mother.
Happy Mother's Day.
After an honest feedback and some introspection, I re read the above piece and realized that it sounded like a rant. Here I am giving it one more go.
So another Mother's Day is coming up. I know I will wake up to kisses and flowers and cards from my little ones. The same old messages, but what matters to me is the innocence and love with which those cards are presented.
I know now a days there is a "Day" to celebrate everything and everyone. But the celebration of Mother's day is always special. I think it's a fitting tribute and a loving thank you to mothers who continue to make adjustments, compromises and sacrifices. I take this day as an opportunity to salute my mom who did all that for me. If it weren't for this day, how many of us would actually go up to our mom and say all that the heart felt about her? I guess she would be more embarrassed. She wasn't doing all that for us so that we would say thank you. She was just being a mother.
I appreciate my mother more now. Now that I am a mother myself.I am a mother who feels guilty when she leaves her children to go out. Be it work or play. I am a mother who compulsively shops for her kids even when it's her own birthday. I am also the mother who put her career on hold for years till kids 'grow up' a bit. And all this is done willingly and happily.
My husband encouraged me to go back to work once the kids were in school.
So the balancing act began.... The wet towel on the bed, toys on the floor, extra workload, make me angrier than before. But my kids and my husband understand that anger and I appreciate that. It's true that it's tougher to balance a career with motherhood. But a loving family makes it easier.
Motherhood needs to be celebrated. It's a tough job. But in addition to celebration of the adjustments and sacrifices, I would call for a helping hand. A pat on my shoulder saying "It's not your fault that he scored less in the maths exam." A reassuring voice that says, "Take a break. Leave it to me." An experienced heart that says, "You are doing wonderfully. Go on. I am proud of you." I would make sure I say that to my mother, sisters, friends and much later my daughter and daughter in law.
Let's not wait for a date on a calendar to appreciate our mothers. We know that each mother deserves it.
Happy Mother's Day.
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